


Bittersweet

by DaHyoSaYeon



Series: The NaBin Story [5]
Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Adopted Children, Angst, Betrayal, Cheating, Children, Christmas, Divorce, Drinking to Cope, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Holidays, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Lesbian Character, Love Confessions, Time Skips, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:02:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21990184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaHyoSaYeon/pseuds/DaHyoSaYeon
Summary: A new chapter of the NaBin story.Nayeon's life has fallen apart but, her best friend is there to fix everything.
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Kim Yubin, Im Nayeon/Minatozaki Sana, Myoui Mina/Son Chaeyoung, Park Jimin (BTS) & Yoo Jeongyeon
Series: The NaBin Story [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1238843
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER:
> 
> This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

"Aunt Nayeon!" 

"Hey big man"

"I missed you and Aunt Yubin"

"We missed you too" said Nayeon, squeezing the little boy in a vice like hug "Where's your mom at, huh, you little punk?"

"If he's a punk, he learnt it from you, Nayeon" said the boy's mother, as she leaned against the door frame, arms folded

"Ugh, I'm nothing if not a good influence, right, Chae?" Asked Nayeon

"Not by a long shot" came the response from the living room

"It's nice to see you again, Mina" said Nayeon, releasing her hold on the child and crushing Mina in a hug 

"You too, Yeonie" replied Mina, leaning into the hug before squeezing even tighter "I'm sorry about Yubin"

"What do you mean, mommy?" asked the little boy, a tremor of worry in his voice "Is Aunt Yubin not coming, Aunty Nayeon?"

Nayeon knelt down and took the little boy's hands in her own, making his tiny hands look even smaller, and opened her mouth to say something before pausing: the boy looked on in anticipation, expecting some sort of answer.

"Your aunt is busy working. She wanted to see you so, so bad, but asked me to give you this for her" 

Nayeon tickled the boy until he couldn't hold back anymore and burst into a fit of laughter and gleeful squeals: Nayeon ended her tickle assault with kiss on the kid's cheek and tapped him on the butt.

"Go find your sister and tell her 'If she doesn't come say hi right now, Aunt Nayeon is going to cut her up and eat her"

Once the thumping of a kid with far too much energy's footsteps faded as he bounded upstairs, Mina lead Nayeon into the living room, where Chaeyoung was sat reading a book and sipping a glass of wine: which was quickly forgotten when Chaeyoung saw her old friend.

"If I ever see her again, I'll kick her ass" said Chaeyeong, who was the third person that night to attempt to squeeze the life out of Nayeon "When I get my hands on her-"

"And I'm the bad influence, Mina?" laughed Nayeon, saying to Chaeyoung "Trust me, it's not the end of the world, Chae"

"You're awfully calm and rational about this, Nayeon. If Chae hurt me like that, you'd be coming to my sentencing instead of a Christmas party" said Mina, hitting Chaeyoung with a soul piercing glare "Do you want a drink?"

"Coffee, please, black, no sugar"

"Oh no. Black coffee? You haven't started smoking again too, have you?" asked Chaeyoung, ready to avoid a punch, should Nayeon have felt it owed

"No smoking, just black coffee"

Two sets of footfalls thundering down the stairs gave Nayeon reason enough to drop the subject and focus all her attention on her niece and nephew, whom she loved oh so much. There was much pinching and tickling and, after the children recieved their gifts from their favourite aunt, the two terrors were soon tucked in, with a kiss on the head to ensure good dreams. Her duty complete, Nayeon headed downstairs to spend some time with her family.

"That's what I'm saying" said Chaeyoung, waving her wine glass around animatedly "Unless the artist is willing to sell their art, they shouldn't bring it to my gallery-"

"Honey" said Mina, interrupting Chaeyoung's rant "You can talk business with Chewie-"

"Chewie's coming?" Asked Nayeon, honestly surprised

"Everyone's coming, except for Momo"

"Why no Momo?"

"Her dad" said Chaeyoung, finishing her glass

"Oh my god. He was still so young"

"Makes me appreciate that my mother is still around to see her grandkids" sighed Mina

"So, what happened with her?" Asked Chaeyoung, busy with yet another glass of red wine

"Chae" chided Mina, but Nayeon waved away her concern

"We argued over the same thing for the last time-"

"And that was?"

"Kids. I wanted to adopt some critters but she didn't feel like we were ready for children. Silly me for thinking ten years of marriage would have prepared us for kids"

"How long were we married before we started wanting kids?" Asked Chaeyoung, arm around Mina "Year or two?"

"The difference between our situation and Nayeon's, is that we both wanted children"

"I mean, it's my fault too. I so desperately want to be a mother that I let it come between me and her"

"There's nothing wrong with wanting something in a relationship" said Mina "Did you ever talk about raising a child with her?"

"She knew how I felt, but she would always say 'When we're ready' but it felt like 'ready' kept getting further and further away. She also had this hang up about being too old to be a mom, for fuck's sake, she's only 40. I don't know, maybe I pushed too hard, maybe we weren't as compatible as we thought, but, it's over between us and I need to move on with my life, eventually"

"A decade of marriage isn't nothing, you're allowed to be upset, Nayeon" 

"Yeah, we all thought you two were in it for the long haul"

"Honestly, I was upset, I still am, but it's for the best. This was something that would've turned toxic given enough time"

"Just know that no matter what, you've always got us" said Chaeyoung 

"Yeah. I know, and trust me, I'm grateful for you guys and the other members" said Nayeon before laughing "Members. God, it's been so long since we were 'members' of Twice"

"Feels like a whole lifetime ago, doesn't it?" added Mina "I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it was"

"Still wouldn't trade it for anything, especially since I met the love of my life" said Chaeyoung with a wink 

"You two haven't changed at all. It's kinda nauseating" said Nayeon feigning disgust "When is everyone else arriving? I need an escape from all this lovey dovey stuff"

"Jeongyeon and Jimin should still get here tonight, long as their flight isn't delayed. Everyone else is set for tomorrow, it looks like" said Mina

"This place is going to be a horror house tomorrow with all the kid running around" moaned Chaeyoung "Best get some sleep tonight"

"Speaking of which, you are staying here, right, Nayeon?" asked Mina, as she removed the glasses of wine and cup of coffee from the table

"If there's a room for me, sure, otherwise I can find a hotel no problem"

"Absolutely not. There's no way you're staying at a hotel. Our house is, as it's always been, yours as well, Nayeon" said Chaeyoung "Hope you don't mind the bedroom next to the kids' room"

"I really appreciate you guys. Seriously"

"Alright, this Soft Nayeon is starting to bug me out" joked Chaeyoung before hugging Nayeon tightly and saying softly "You know I love you, right?"

"Love you too, Chae"

After spending too long in the shower, Nayeon laid down in the softest bed she had ever felt, and scrolled through her Instagram, reliving the memories she had made with members over the years; they were all so happy being together. All the hardships and stress seemed worth it now that it was half a decade passed, but their bond, as a group, never weakened with the passage of time. Whenever they saw each other, it was like time had never moved from the day Twice disbanded and each person went on to live their own lives, find their own paths in the world. Almost lost in her sea of memories, Nayeon jumped when she got a text. She felt another pang of pain when she saw who it was from.

"Hope you arrived safely"

"I did. Are you back in Gwangju?"

"Yeah. Mom keeps asking where you are"

"What did you tell her?"

"You're working. Don't have the heart to break the news to her"

"Did you hear from the lawyers about the house yet?"

"It's all sorted. Don't worry"

"You're not taking the house?"

"No. We're selling it"

"I'm not interested in the money"

"Me neither. That's why it's going into a trust fund"

"For who?"

"Our nieces and nephews"

"They really don't need it"

"Okay, fine. We'll donate it to charities"

"Sounds good"

"I'm sorry, Nayeon"

"Okay. But I'm not in the mood right now"

"Give love to everyone for me, please"

"I will. Goodnight, Yubin"

"Night, Yeonie"

Nayeon threw her phone onto the bedside table and hated herself for wanting to cry. Of course she still loved Yubin, she loved her wife and she loved being married, but, she told herself it might be better for her, while she was still young, to find someone who would be willing to raise a family with her, to raise two or three or four beautiful children and give them the best life they could. Nayeon also felt incredibly selfish for wanting without taking Yubin into consideration, maybe she had her reasons for not wanting children, maybe she felt that even after twelve years together she couldn't tell Nayeon her reasons, maybe she had no reasons and simply didn't want to be a mother. All the different possibilities tumbled around in Nayeon's head, like they had for a while now. 

"Am I doing the right thing?" She asked herself "Can I leave the woman I love over something we can fix together?"

"You tried, so many times, but Yubin doesn't get it"

"Maybe I don't get it"

"What's not to get? She doesn't want kids, you do"

"We've been through so much over the years, I don't want to throw it away"

"This is my fucking problem"

"What is?"

"I spend too much time arguing with myself"

"Who else are you going to talk to?"

Nayeon knew exactly who to talk to; she checked the time 11:00pm her time which meant, after some not so quick mental math, that it was 3:00pm in England. She dialed her best friend's number and waited, hoping she hadn't left yet. The phone rang twice before a very tired voice answered.

"Yeonie?"

"You sound terrible, Sana"

"Oh, well, thanks. It must be this wonderful English weather"

"I'm glad you're coming back home"

"Me too"

There was a strange silence between the two, which Sana broke with a pained sigh.

"I'm sorry about you and Yubin, Yeonie"

"Kinda the reason I was calling you"

"I'm here for you. Talk"

"Am I doing the right thing?"

"It depends"

"Am I a terrible human being?"

"No, I don't think so.

"Then why do I feel like I am?"

"Because, deep, deep, deep, deep down, you're a good person"

More silence, when Nayeon spoke, her voice quivered with the effort of holding back tears.

"I love her so much, Sana. I don't know what to do, or who I am, without her. She's the love of my life, and ever since that day at the fucking butterfly garden, I've belonged to Yubin. She makes me so happy, but...but-"

"But?"

"It hurts me, rips my fucking heart in two, that when I look at her, I see someone who doesn't want to raise a child with me, her wife"

"Have you spoken to Yubin about how you feel?"

"Yeah, but it never made a difference"

"You two have been together for so long. I know you and her can fix this, Yeonie"

"I can't wait to see you again. You really don't know how much I've missed you"

"Maybe you can show me"

"Ms Minatozaki, are you flirting with me?"

"Well, you are single, so...maybe"

"Christmas spirit got you reminiscing about the old days, huh?"

"See you soon, Yeonie"

"Be safe. I love you"

"Love you too"

Sana ended the call with a little kiss and Nayeon was left in the dark room, with nothing but her racing heart as company. 

The next morning, Nayeon awoke and, still groggy, checked her phone; a slew of voicemails from Sana. After her chat with Sana, Nayeon had hoped Yubin would have tried to message her or call, even though she missed her, Nayeon was decidedly stubborn and refused to be the one to call the other.

"Morning, Yeonie. Can't wait to see you today" 

Nayeon cursed her heart for fluttering at the thought of seeing her best friend; nervous fluttering gave way to a sudden pang of impending doom as she continued to listen to the message.

"After our conversation last night, I got to thinking. You were right: talking to you, the thought of seeing everyone again after so long, spending Christmas with everyone, seeing all my nieces and nephews, did make me miss the old days and there's something I've been meaning to tell you for the longest time. Maybe over voicemail isn't the best way but I don't want to ruin our time together. Maybe I'm a bit of a coward and can't say what I need to, face to face, but- fuck I don't know what I'm doing or why. N-no I know why-"

Sana was drunk. Her words were almost noticeably slurred and she couldn't keep her thoughts straight.

"Fuck it. Fuck it. Come on Sana, stop being so fucking stupid, just say it"

Nayeon tensed, she didn't know what had Sana so torn up.

"I'm in love with you, Yeonie. Always have been"

Her heart stopped. Nayeon didn't know what to do with her confession; this isn't something she needed right now, piled onto everything else. 

"That day at the hospital, remember that? I had to stop myself from telling you the truth about me and her- yeah, I lied to you, sorry- goddammit. I already knew you were going to be asked- wait no - I knew she was going to ask you to marry her because she told me. Well, she asked me if I was okay with you and her being together-"

The message was interrupted by a soul wrenching sob that signalled the coming of an unstoppable flood of emotion.

"And I said I was fine with it, but I wasn't, I'm not. She wasn't supposed to marry you. I was. You were supposed to be my girl, be my Nayeon but you chose her. You wouldn't take my love, you didn't want to see it even when I told you so many times that I loved you, loved you more than the other members did. I thought I was okay, I thought that seeing my Nayeon with her for so long, would make it a little easier but it didn't. It never got easier. I tried to move on, I tried to find someone who I could love, but it never happened. I hurt so many fucking people trying to forget my feelings for you and I couldn't. There is no one I love more than you and I hate her for taking you away from me. But now, now there's a chance for us. There's a chance you could love me and we could be together. I could make you forget about her"

Nayeon's hands trembled and she barely retained her grip on the phone. She knew Sana wouldn't say these things if she wasn't drunk, but it still broke her heart to know that she, inadvertently, hurt someone she loves. Sana was quiet for a moment, the sounds of a busy airport bar blasting through the speaker in her stead; her voice was soft when she spoke again.

"I'm sorry for this, Yeonie. I'm sorry for hurting you"

The message ended, leaving Nayeon with a pit in her stomach that seemed closer to an abyss. Too many thoughts ran through her head: 

"Do I take what she said seriously?"

"Does she even remember calling me?"

"Do I call Sana and talk about this?"

"What do I do?"

"Do I tell my wife?"

Her head ached, not nearly as much as her heart, and the room began to feel suffocating and muggy; the window was thrown open and Nayeon took a deep breath of frigid, winter air. The sudden rush left her feeling a little light headed and so she stumbled back to the bed and collapsed onto it. The world spun around her, so she closed her eyes and prayed it would stop, prayed that when she opened her eyes it would all have been a dream; she couldn't help but laugh: she wished that she could go back to being a kid on Christmas morning, ready to open presents and not a 35 woman, contemplating getting intimate with a bottle of vodka until all her problems melted away. 

"Nayeon?" Called a a voice from downstairs "You coming down for breakfast or are you still sleeping?"

"If she was sleeping, how would she answer you?" Said the other voice

Nayeon grimaced before putting on her calmest, most relaxed face, that she hoped would hide the emotions churning inside her; she walked to the railing and yelled down:

"Totally asleep right now"

"Hey stranger" called another voice, a familiar one 

"Jeongyeon?"

"Who else?"

Nayeon squealed with joy and bolted down the stairs, blazing past everyone else, and into Jeongyeon's arms. She squeezed the other woman so tight she could be sworn she heard Jeongyeon's spine crack.

"It's good to see you again, Nayeon" said Jeongyeon "We've missed you so much"

"Nice to see I'm forgotten, Im" said a voice from behind her

Nayeon released Jeongyeon and spun around to face the one antagonizing her.

"I haven't decided yet if I like you, Park"

"Never said I liked you either"

"I see you still don't know how to keep both shoulders covered"

"See you're still a bitch"

"It's almost 11, I'm surprised you don't have a drink in your hand"

"Should've known you were here, Im, the place smells like a baby prostitute"

"Twat"

"Whore"

The two glared at each other before Jimin wrapped Nayeon in a tight hug and lifted her into the air; Nayeon giggled and smacked him playfully.

"You haven't changed at all, Nayeon, except for those wrinkles"

"Having all those kids really aged you, Park" said Nayeon adding "Where are the little demons, anyway?"

"Oh, Chewie took them to pick out gifts" answered Jeongyeon "Still kind of amazing that's she's so calm around children"

"She loves them more than she loves us" said Chaeyoung "Who's hungry?"

Chaeyoung set a pan of sizzling bacon in the centre of the table, completing a full spread of delicious smelling food. Jeongyeon looked at the food and then at Mina and Chaeyoung.

"Thank god, I'm starving" she said "After so many years filled with McDonald's chicken nuggets, seeing actual, real food is amazing"

"Oh god, your kids are on the nugget phase too?" Laughed Mina 

"I try not to give into their demands, but you know Jimin, he's useless when it comes to children" said Jeongyeon, shaking her head in mock disappointment 

"And who do they love more?" Asked Jimin, pointing to himself "It's me, Jeongyeon. They love me more"

While the group laughed and shared more of their experiences raising children, Nayeon couldn't help but feel alone. Yes she loved her friends, yes she loved their kids, but the more they talked, the further away she felt from them. She couldn't relate to them in this aspect, and the longer she spent in that kitchen, the more she felt like a failure. She knew she shouldn't, but that didn't stop the little voice in her head mocking her for not being a mother, telling her she'll never know what it's like to feel that parental connection with another human being. 

Nayeon needed air. She needed to get away.

Before she could move, Jeongyeon's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Hey, are you okay, Nayeon?" 

"Y-yeah, just need some breath, uh, I'll be back" she stammered and rushed out the door.

The icy chill stung her cheeks and the quickly forming tears in her eyes. Nayeon knew that being around so many kids wouldn't be easy, especially since she would be facing the situation alone. Because of her. Because of Yubin. Nayeon needed time to think. Thankfully, Mina and Chaeyoung lived fairly close to a scenic riverside trail, and so, she decided to take a very long, very slow, walk to clear her head.

The water was beautiful, the way the light danced along the glassy surface, little ripples splashing the light in different directions. For the thousandth time in her life, Nayeon wished her heart was as cold as the ice forming on the leaves that hung over the water. She leaned against the railing and instinctively reached for pocket, grabbing at her imagined cigarettes; she cursed herself for that. It had been far too long, since she quit, to think about smoking; the memories of Jihyo ripping her apart for finding a pack in their dorm were still fresh, 15 years later.

"What's wrong with you?" She yelled "Do you want to get kicked out for this?"

"Oh please, liked he'd kick me out for smoking" 

"He can and he will. If you don't care about your career, think of the other members, think of Tzuyu"

"What about her?"

"She's young and impressionable, you should be an example to her"

"Jesus, shut the fuck up, mom"

"Stop smoking, Nayeon"

"And if I don't?" barked Nayeon, crushing the pack in her hand "What are you going to do?"

"Nothing"

"What?" Asked Nayeon, surprised at Jihyo's response "What do you mean nothing?"

"If you want to ruin your life, go ahead" answers Jihyo, walking away "Just let me know what colour coffin you'd prefer"

The reality of her words hit Nayeon a lot harder than she would ever admit. So, from that day forth, Nayeon swore off smoking; she wanted to spend as much time with her members and family as possible. Having Yubin in her life only reinforced her desire to stay on the straight and narrow. 

"Nice day for a walk, isn't it?" 

Nayeon looked to her left and nearly burst into a full scale meltdown of tears.

"Sana!" 

Before Sana could say anything, Nayeon ran into her arms and bawled like a baby into her chest, her tears staining Sana's expensive jacket; Sana gave a small laugh while she held Nayeon close to her chest and stroked her hair.

"Did you miss me?" Sana asked

"This isn't a dream, right?"

"I don't know" 

Nayeon trembled when Sana leaned in close, she felt the electricity between them as Sana came closer and closer. Sana stared into her dewy eyes, searching for a hint of rejection. Nayeon knew she shouldn't, she knew she couldn't cheat on Yubin, on her wife, but Sana loved her, she had said so in her message. Nayeon closed her eyes and gave into Sana. When their lips touched, a mess of emotions washed over Nayeon: heartbreak, love, bliss, but the one emotion left her feeling sick, left her with pit in her stomach deeper than the Mariana Trench: guilt. 

By kissing Sana, by willingly giving into this other woman, she had betrayed Yubin. 

Still, she couldn't deny her racing heart and weak knees, she couldn't deny the sparks in the space between their lips. 

"Still think it's a dream?" Asked Sana, breaking the kiss

"Wait" answered Nayeon, kissing Sana once more "Hmm, you're definitely here"

Sana walked with Nayeon to the railing and held her tightly in her arms, both staring out at the water; pressed against the freezing metal with Sana's warm body against her back was a strange sensation and Nayeon was truly lost in the moment, so happy to be with Sana again. 

"How did you know I was here?" She asked

"I arrived in time to see you rush out the door, so I decided to follow you" she whispered "Funny how fate works"

"Did you mean what you said?"

"I did"

"Even though you were drunk?"

"I may have been a little tipsy, but, yes. Every word"

"I-I love you, Sana" said Nayeon, wrapping her fingers in Sana's "But I'm a married woman"

"That didn't stop you from kissing me"

"I know"

"This doesn't have to be anything more than a Christmas fling, if that's what you want"

"I can't cheat on her, Sana"

Sana kissed Nayeon right below her left ear, her warm breath sending shivers down Nayeon's spine and said: "Then don't. The choice is yours"

Staring out at the river, Nayeon wished she was as calm as the water, but she wasn't, she was a wreck; Sana's warmth, her touch, her offer of love, even for just the moment they were together, made all the sense in the world to her. She couldn't I'm good conscience cheat on her wife, but being alone with Sana, being with her physically and emotionally, was something she couldn't refuse.

Sana was right, the choice was hers to make. What scared Nayeon the most was making the wrong choice. 

But with Sana's arms wrapped around her, her perfume creeping its heady tendrils into her psyche, made her brain foggy.

Nayeon kissed Sana's fingers and, with another kiss on her lips, Nayeon made her choice.

**Author's Note:**

> Been a while since I wrote anything.
> 
> Tried to write this in time for Christmas, but failed, so here it is, in all it's terribleness. 
> 
> I have nothing to say, so, yeah.


End file.
